Updated: Nov 29, 2021
When I ask clients to describe how their lives will look and feel when they've resolved whatever "problem" it is they're they're coming to me to address, they almost always respond with some version of this: . "I'll be happy!" "Things will be easy...effortless...no longer a struggle." "I'll have self-control." "I'll feel comfortable in my skin and love my body." "It will be easy to achieve my goals." "I'll no longer fight with ____" "My needs will be met."
While all of these are lovely, there is one BIG problem: The reality is that these are pretty idealistic goals and honestly not achievable all the time. Sure, you may be able to be happy with more frequency, have days where your relationship with your body is tender and accepting, moments of clear, easy communication with your partner or kids, a clearer focus and more discipline on chasing down goals...BUT....there will also be days when that all goes out the window and things suck and are difficult.
The problem with setting our sights on the shiny, perfectionistic goals of "always" and "never" is that we WILL fall short...it's guaranteed!
We will have hard days, weeks, months...or even years. We will screw up. We will feel lazy some days, and we will make mistakes. And if when we fall short of our perfectionistic ideals we tend to then throw our hands in the air and re-affirm to ourselves, "I'm terrible" "I can't do this" "I suck at this" "I may as well just give up...things will never be different"
And then we self-sabotage.
And then....we tend to give up, because feeling like a failure is yucky.
Instead, how might it look if we accept the fact that life will never be all unicorns and rainbows and sunshine and glitter. How about accepting that some moments/days/weeks with suck....and that's ok?! How about we acknowledge that nobody is perfect (shocker, I know!) and that we will continue to struggle and make mistakes.
How about instead, we all simply try to make better mistakes tomorrow?!
How might this gentler, more realistic and allowing perspective help you in your life, business, and relationships?