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Ego or Esteem?

When I coach clients, a common block is lack of confidence and self esteem. Lack of confidence is insidious enough by itself, but a lot of times I hear from people (mainly women) who have been conditioned to equate demonstrating their own confidence with egotism.⁣

Ummm...hard stop.⁣


Self esteem is feeling confident about your worth as a person and respecting yourself enough to have healthy boundaries. Plain and simple.⁣

There is a VAST difference between having a healthy self-esteem and confidence in your abilities/skills, and being that person who lacks humility and is ego-driven. I read a great article in Forbes a while back that said:


"To have confidence is to have faith in your own abilities and believe in yourself, but the ego is something else, entirely. Unlike confidence, the ego operates out of self-interest. It seeks approval, accolades and validation at all costs in order to be seen as “right.” It is resistant to feedback and assigns motive where there isn’t any."⁣

The next time you notice yourself staying small out of fear of others judging you as egotistic, check yourself: is this well founded confidence being used for good or is this a grab for attention, praise or recognition? Sometimes the lines between the two are blurry...but that's ok. Exploring this is worth the effort and something I feel like we should talk about more often.⁣

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psychotherapy in SCOTTSDALE, AZ

I am currently accepting new clients from all over Arizona via telehealth!  

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