Updated: Nov 29, 2021
You just ended a significant long term relationship.
You're heartbroken, beat-up, and lonely.
The temptation is great to jump right back into the dating pool and create another relationship to soothe the heartache.
While not without their own risks, for most of us, rebound relationships can play a pivotal role in healing and moving on from a relationship.
In a 2015 study, researchers define a rebound as a relationship that starts before feelings about a previous relationship are over, or before “closure” has been satisfied around a previous relationship. As expected, the research in this study indicates that people who entered into a rebound relationship more quickly than others had greater overall mental and physical health, confidence in their desirability, and resolution toward their previous relationship. But, that assumes that you've done the proper healing and gotten "closure" on your previous relationship.
After one relationship ends, it’s often hard to process your emotions. Sometimes you feel like you never want to date again. Other times, you want to start dating right away to once again feel desirable, sexy and connected.
How the heck do you know when it's the right time to start dating again?? The right solution for you actually depends on you!
Understand the psychology behind rebound relationships.
Your mind can create a variety of different scenarios that make rebound relationships appealing. If you understand how your brain affects your decisions, then it’s easier to make choices that will benefit everyone.
Once a relationship is over, you may feel grief, anger, and resentment. Your self-esteem can suffer and you may feel deeply hurt by the other person. This creates an ideal setting for wanting a new relationship to help you heal from the previous wounds, and that's not fair to you or your new partner(s).
Your ego may be hurt. You may want to show your “ex” that you can live without them by finding someone new.
In addition, you may be trying to overcome your fear of being alone forever. You may be concerned about your social status suffering because you’re alone. You may be worried about friends no longer inviting you to parties or other events because you’re single.
It’s important to process your emotions until your reasons for dating again aren’t tied to your former partner.
Avoid “settling” in a rebound relationship.
Although you may be eager to start dating the first person who shows an interest, for your own happiness, you want to remember your standards.
The fear of being alone isn't a healthy or sustaining reason to settle for a person who isn’t a good fit for you. Keep in mind the qualities you seek in a relationship, so you can make healthy decisions.
Avoid staying in a rebound relationship that isn’t working because you’re scared of being alone again.
Remember that your new partner won’t be a copy of your last one.
When you start dating again, you may want to reevaluate how you select a partner.
It may be tempting to seek out a person who resembles the partner from your previous relationship. However, this can be a dangerous route and can hurt both sides. Focus on each person as an individual instead of trying to find identical copies.
You may also want to reevaluate the expectations you have in relationships. Your new partner may have different ideas and expectations.
Take time to heal from your past relationship. Rebound relationships can blind you from dealing with your emotions.
You want to heal your emotional and mental wounds, so they don’t affect your new relationship.
Pay attention to signs you need more closure.
Do you continue to talk about your ex with your new partner?
The signs can also include the continuing desire to check up on your ex to see what they’re doing.
You may have daydreams or fantasies about getting back together with your ex.
These signs indicate that you may still have feelings for your ex and aren’t ready for a new relationship. Before you hurt a new partner, you want to find closure and move past the feelings you have for your ex.
Rebound relationships can help you heal and overcome previous connections. However, it’s important to handle them carefully.
Click here if you'd like a FREE copy of my 12 Rules to Modern Day Rebound Relationships.