Welcome Home: Navigating Your Young Adult's Return from College

The saguaros are in bloom, the temperatures are rising, and… oh yes, your young adult is back from college! Cue the mix of excitement, maybe a touch of anxiety, and the sudden realization that your quiet nest is about to get a whole lot louder – and possibly involve more laundry. This is a big transition for everyone, and navigating it smoothly in the Arizona context, where summer togetherness can get intense, requires a little finesse and a whole lot of understanding.

For your returning college student, coming home isn't always the idyllic break they might have envisioned during those late-night study sessions. They've likely gained a significant amount of independence, established their own routines, and are used to making their own decisions (even if some of those decisions involved questionable ramen choices). Suddenly being back under the family roof can feel like a step backward, even with the promise of home-cooked meals and air conditioning that doesn't require a dorm RA to fix.

For parents, the shift can be equally significant. You might be thrilled to have your child home, eager to catch up on their life and enjoy their company. However, you've also likely established your own rhythm and enjoyed a certain level of peace and quiet. Reintegrating a young adult with their own schedule, friends, and habits requires adjustment on your part too.

According to a study on the transition back home for college students, communication and clearly defined expectations are key to a successful summer (Fingerman et al., 2012). This isn't about laying down a new set of rules reminiscent of their high school days, but rather about establishing a framework for respectful cohabitation. Think of it as a renegotiation of household dynamics.

Here are a few tips to consider as you welcome your young adult back:

• Have an Open Conversation: Before they even unpack that suitcase overflowing with… who knows what… have a chat. Discuss expectations around curfews (if any), use of the car, household chores, and having friends over. Approach it as a collaborative discussion rather than a list of demands.

• Respect Their Independence: Remember, they've been living on their own. While they're under your roof, try to respect their need for privacy and autonomy. Knock before entering their room, and trust that they can manage their own time (within reasonable boundaries, of course).

• Establish Shared Responsibilities: Just because they're "home for the summer" doesn't mean they're on vacation from all responsibility. Discuss how they can contribute to the household, whether it's helping with chores, running errands, or contributing to grocery costs if they have a summer job.

• Be Flexible: Life happens, and summer plans change. Be open to adjusting expectations as needed. A little flexibility can go a long way in preventing unnecessary conflict.

• Plan Some Quality Time: While respecting their independence is crucial, also make an effort to spend some quality time together. This could be anything from a casual dinner at a local spot to a hike in the McDowell Sonoran Preserve (just remember the water!).

• Remember They Might Be Stressed: The end of the college year can be incredibly stressful with finals, moving out, and saying goodbye to friends. Give them some time and space to decompress.

Bringing your young adult home for the summer is a unique opportunity to reconnect and support them as they navigate this new phase of their lives. By fostering open communication, respecting their growing independence, and establishing clear expectations, you can create a summer that is enjoyable for everyone – even if it means occasionally reminding them to turn off the lights when they leave a room (some habits are hard to break, no matter how many semesters they've completed!).

If you or your college student need a little extra support this summer, hit us up!

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Reference:

Fingerman, K. L., Cheng, Y. P., Birditt, K. S., & Zarit, S. H. (2012). The good, the bad, and the ambivalent: Parent–child relationships during the transition to adulthood. Journal of Family Psychology, 26(6), 931–940. [Insert actual DOI or URL if available]