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Why Are You Stuck?

6 Questions to Help You Understand Why You’re Stuck and Some Tips to get Un-Stuck

Being stuck is like being in a dark hole. You want to climb out of it but can’t see anything or find a rope or ladder. It overwhelms you with feelings of fear, anxiety, and confusion. The world seems to speed past while you stay exactly where you are. You realize the need to get out of your current situation, but you feel held back by an even stronger desire to do nothing to change your condition.

The following soul-searching questions will help you understand why you’re feeling stuck:

1. Are my expectations of myself too high? Reexamine your expectations of yourself. You can’t do everything perfectly. It is normal to feel disappointed in yourself if you don’t live up to your expectations.

  • Still, you will steal your joy by comparing yourself to others and having expectations so lofty that you think you’re not enough. The depressed state that will follow will keep you stuck in a rut.

2. What are my goals? Living without a purpose is one of the quickest ways to find yourself in a rut. You can’t do anything if you have no sense of direction. Since you are stuck in a hole, the only path to go is up. How do you do this?

  • Make brief notes of goals you want to accomplish. They can be big or small - and you can then break up each goal into smaller goals.

  • Writing your goals is great, but it’s not enough. A vision board is a visual representation of your goals, which makes them feel within reach.

3. How much time do I spend daily on improving myself? Are you stuck because you are making no effort to expand your knowledge? Is there a skill you can learn? Think about it. You have so much time. Consider the number of hours you spend on mind-numbing social media platforms.

  • Now think of how much of that time you could spend reading something you enjoy, learning a skill or a hobby. Pick one thing to do to improve yourself. Then stick with it and see how much progress you make.

4. Do the people who surround me motivate me? Do you choose your friends carefully? Whether in-person or virtually, the people we surround ourselves with have a more significant effect on us than we like to admit. The key? Expand your circle of friends.

  • Draw concentric circles and then identify names of friends, family members, and even colleagues placing them at various places in yoru circles, with those in the center being the closest/most trustworthy, and moving out from there to casual acquaintances.

  • Now, go back to your vision board (earlier step) and pick one goal on the board. Identify at least one person who is in your circles (or add someone new to your circles!)e. How will this help? Eventually, you will follow along with the tide motivated to live the life of your dreams by surrounding yourself with like-minded people.

5. How willing am I to step out of my comfort zone? The comfort zone is a psychological state in which a person feels at ease because they’re not being tested. But when was the last time you did something you found fascinating? Something scary? Something vulnerable or risky? Take an honest look at how comfortable you've become being uncomfortable and challenge yourself to taking small risks.

  • Pick one smallish habit to change and commit to doing it every day for 30 days.

  • Make an "uncomfortable list." Write down 10-20 things you can do that make you feel uncomfortable. Pick at least one to do each day.

  • Aim to say 3 “Yeses” per day. If you still have some to say at the end of the day, say yes to quick things you want to do to improve yourself.

6. Do I show gratitude? Gratitude is a glimmer that can ignite a spark of motivation inside us.

  • Every morning before your feet hit the ground, write down three things for which you're grateful - and don't duplicate them. By the end of 30 days you should have over 90 things!

  • To double down on this idea, end every evening by writing down three things you're proud of yourself for - you might be surprised when you remind yourself how awesome you are!

Remember, just because you feel trapped doesn’t mean that you are. If you feel stuck, move! It's really that easy - you are in control of your life.

Find what you truly want in life and get started. The more things you try, the more likely it will be for you to find your place in this world.

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